Important news

I try to stay informed. Really I do. In my quest to be aware of current events I read news when I ought to be doing other things. As a consequence I know about the drought in China that is causing a "National Emergency" there, about the simultaneous floods in Australia and in Fiji and in the Solomon Islands, about the slow disappearance of the Maldives and of Kiribati and their populations' hope to relocate, about Iceland's new Prime Minister who happens to be the first openly gay leader of a nation, about the fact that China bought more cars and trucks in January than the US did and that this is the first time this has ever happened for any month, ever...

But sometimes important news slips through the cracks. News that, evidently, is of great importance to many people. And I missed this one until today:

Jessica Simpson has gained weight.

My reaction to this news is different than most, though. My reaction is Thank God. That woman was just too skinny.

Evidently I am out of step, though. According to the Daily Beast (my preferred news site these days) other media outlets are referring to Simpson as a “fat cow”.

The Daily Beast goes on to talk about the weight-loss industry and what an incredible opportunity this is for Jessica to cash in – provided she can lose the weight. Evidently she could easily get a 7-figure sponsorship from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem or others if she simply hawks their products in the course of losing the weight. If she stops losing the weight – and definitely if she gains weight – then she’s out. All-gone-money.

Let me take this opportunity to state for the record that if someone wants to pay me upwards of a million dollars to get in shape then I will make that my full-time job.

That stated, I don’t think Jessica should lose the weight. I mean, if there’s millions of dollars involved then sure, go for it Jessica, but if there’s not and it’s all about image then I just gotta say I much prefer the new image.

I haven’t done a full web search for photos, so maybe I’m not seeing what others are seeing. All I’ve seen are these two photos:



And I gotta say, I much prefer the one on the right.

That is all. Thank you for your attention.

UPDATE: In other terribly important news, it turns out that Miley Cyrus is a teenager.